SHANTI

SHANTI

This story makes me wonder if I should put them across in chronologic order! Well still wondering. But the story is the first in my life in OG, where people gauged my metal!

I was relegated for lack of performance in my 2 mile test while I was excellent in all other tests. To the extent that, I must confess, that I did tests for others who rose to higher ranks!

So on the face of it I was one of the senior lot in the course. I had decided to excel in all the outdoor events.

It was a rainy day, and the horses were not too happy somehow.  As it started drizzling the horses neighed and were getting out of control. Suddenly one of the horses with mount Malhotra (Mallu) suddenly reared up on his hoofs and lost balance, fell backwards, crushing Mallu’s leg below his massive weight. There was commotion, as the horse stood up on his fours, but Mallu was in tremendous pain. He was rushed to the hospital. Later his commission was delayed on medical grounds ….

Every rider got cautious and we assembled towards the trees to avoid rain as ustads controlled the situation.

Accidents don’t repeat themselves I thought. And suddenly my neighboring horse side bucked. II don’t remember his kick touching me. Then suddenly we heard the order “Dismount”.

As taught, with both hands on the saddle raising oneself athletically, feet together we dismounted. I did land but to my surprise, my right leg just turned at right angles between my knee and the ankle! It was a bizarre sight, with skin distended to a yellow bulge. I could literally see my tibia trying hard to poke out of my skin.

I had a fracture of my upper humorous neck as a child and had undergone open surgery, so I knew what I was heading for. Nothing mattered then than to save my leg. I handed the reins to the ustad and sat on the soggy soil, sweating. I asked some friends to hold me tight except my broken leg and real tight even if I cried loud. As they did, I held my knee and ankle in either hand and yanked them apart putting them in alignment again. Believe me, I wished hard that it should join that way. I had already lost a term; I would not be able to go home after being medically boarded out. How would I face my parents, neighbor’s n friends!

As we waited for the MO, all faces were floating before me, mostly my parents who did not want me to join the army. The riding period was getting over, horses were being taken away. I did not let anyone touch me and asked for the stretcher. As a cadet it was not common to command the situation, but I had no option. I knew that I was the best judge.

Then the ambulance arrived with the MO on duty. As it happens, the behavior of the DS/RMO is rude. They have to handle many cases where cadets feign. “Stand up GC” he yelled. I still remember, I raised my hand and said “Don’t touch me, my leg is fractured”. But as he approached me, maybe to pull me up….i just raised my knee when the rest of the leg remained where it was! I still remember the look on his face; he ran back to the ambulance and fetched a splint. Then with the greatest care I was taken to the MH, Dehradun, it was late evening then. Surprisingly, I was seen the next morning. But the best part was when the surgical specialist praised my action of straightening the leg, avoiding the need for an open surgery. The tibia had locked in place, the fracture was simple. The fibula overlapped a little, but the specialist advised against surgery. I did pass out that very term, and that’s a different story.

The mare was SHANTI.

THE GUJRAT CYCLONE

The GUJRAT CYCLONE

It was in the year 1998, My morale was not so high; I had just been overlooked in my board for the next promotion. My own views on officers who were overlooked had started haunting me.

We had moved lock stock and barrel to Dhrangdhara.  A total change of terrain, we were to serve in the deserts. I was putting up a show of high morale, I know. Professional knowledge was my strong point. And staying deeply engrossed in technical training took away defeatist thoughts.

I believed that officers who were overlooked should relinquish command for various reasons and only the ones who were in the race should command, write the future of other officers etc. Future in the army looked bleak but one had to earn the bread.

I was eager to train my boys on the surveillance radars in this new sector. There being no high ground, my keen radar troop commander (an able JCO) suggested that we mount the radar head on top of a water tower nearby.

The 1998 Gujarat cyclone (Joint Typhoon Warning Center designation: 03A; India Meteorological Department designation: ARB 02) was a deadly tropical cyclone that killed at least 10,000 people in India. The highest winds blew across Gujrat, to the tune of 3 min sustained at 165 Km/h and roe to 195 km/h for a minute. The damage estimate was about $3 billion as declared.

Our location was 100 km from the coastline. We were warned about the oncoming storm but never expected the wrath. All precautions were taken except that the radar head was somehow forgotten. Anyways I ordered that the head be taken down. At about 4 pm I was informed that the boys were unable to climb and unleash the head from the tower. The velocity had reached almost 160 Km per hour. The JCO was in tears, it is then that I took the decision: to climb the tank myself, with no support.

I said to myself “I rather be blown away than face an enquiry…..” Cowardice was never in my dictionary, and my slow climb started with a spanner and long screwdriver stuck in my shorts. I was in my games dress, I still remember. In the meanwhile an alarm was raised as I would not listen to anyone. My head n heart was on the radar head. My loyal driver, Uttam, decided to fetch my wife and son to stop me. They arrived a little later. I could hear no one at that time, as I climbed slowly. A small group had gathered. It is then one of the operators gathered courage and followed me. He convinced me that he could do it .Then I let him get ahead as I followed. Finally the head was unbolted and lowered with lashing ropes. By then a few more boys had joined in.

THE RUSSEL'S VIPER

THE VIPER

I wonder at my courage that some people called foolhardiness. But my calm attitude after a calamity is what I appreciate. When there is no one else to look for help, it is then that inner courage, experience and training comes of help. Panic is the worst display of behavior, especially before troops. (read Munabao, where I was scared as a Commanding Officer)

It was about 4 o’clock in the evening and we were about to close our training and return to our barracks. I was the senior most battery commander. The place was near Madhopur, on the banks of the River Ravi, full of stones and pebbles. It was time for tea at our location. I was sitting on a boulder and watching the last few drill procedures. One of my favorites, Barber Baburam, comes running towards me with a dead black scorpion dangling from his hand. And he was warning me from sitting on the boulder. To which I added that we should be careful as in this region there will be saw scaled vipers who love eating scorpions.

As a nature lover I had a fair idea of types of snakes, specially the venomous ones. I had read books by Whittaker and books published by BNHS. During my tenure near the Ujh River area, I used to save huge beautiful Russel’s beautiful vipers from villagers. Villagers would mercilessly kill vipers (locally called Sothar) when they would be lazily basking in the winter sun. I used to collect them, keep them at home till the month of Mar-Apr, and left them in jungles when they would be very active.

Ten a hysterical call came that boys had detected a viper, and that led to a little commotion.It was already tea time, I asked them to collect around me and get me a glass tumbler. I caugt the snake and demonstrated te method of collection of poison, showed them the fangs and other aspects of a snake, like identifying their gender etc. After the snake was exhausted I kept it on the ground. I washed my hands and was holding a glass of hot tea.

The snake was slowly slithering away as the boys got back to work. A villager was passing by on his cyce. On seeing the snake he started shouting “sothar sothar” and picked up a hard piece of mud. I protested and wanted to save the snake. In this huddle I could not catch it well , as my rigt hand was holding the tea. My grip was loose, the snake turned around and managed to put one fang, that I clearly saw.

Now starts the thought process: My Co had given me the responsibility of conducting the training and brining all back in safety, so I could not run back; after all I had drained out all the poison; only one fang went in; little poison cannot do much damage. With these thought I waited with a tourniquet, finally closed down and reached home at about 8 pm, about four hours had passed.

At home as I was flipping through my books a drop of dark blood fell on the tiled floor, unnoticed. While bringing the ususal cup of welcome tea….is when my wife came to know and she raised the alarm….again Sanjoo, my CO Col Sethi…… I was rushed the hospital.

Here the drama began. I was suspected of attempt to commit suicide. The reasons: My BP and pulse was normal (I kept my cool thinking that the left hand is closure to my heart, and I must not rush my blood); I had too much knowledge (because I named the snake and the anti-dote, I did not was a general antidote!); I had not brought the snake for identification; snakes have two fangs not one! As I was only a major, I was not listened to. They were so annoyed of my knowledge, that they shifted me from emergency room to the normal officers’ ward for observation and not the ICU.

Everyone had left except Baburam as he was guilty of showing me the black scorpion that led to all this he thought.  It was about 4 am when I went to the washroom, the pot was white, yet in the poor light I could only see my dark urine, all blood. I sent Baburam to the DMO. Then I only saw doctors and bottles around me. I stayed in the ICU for 13 days, until my blood report was normal. I had to return because of our annual inspection.

I must not forget to mention that my friend then Wg Cdr Nair had arranged to fly in appropriate anti venin from Delhi, which the doctors refused. I was given doses for nerve toxin as well as hemotoxin….meant for all the big four (Cobra, Krait, and two vipers). Also that doctors requested me abstain from further advice on treatment!

LOCKDOWN A MOCK DRILL

LOCKDOWN – A MOCK DRILL

I am 65 years of age with high diabetes, though I follow a very active daily routine, courtesy my hobbies coupled with the desire to create. I have been looking after my mother for the past 19 years. With the intension of maintaining a good atmosphere my house rules (my perception) were rather strict. I thought that following them would bring in the ease of dealing with (health, mental, care…) issues in later days. This led to scolding, admonishing….that left the atmosphere tense many a times, I must agree.

On my journey towards self-management, one day I decided to let go and let life take its course, everyone comes with their luck I read, and prayed for peace to prevail. Maids took over duties. My concerns were symptomatic, my thoughts were calmer, and life started feeling comfortable. I was trying not to feel guilty of lack of concern, while I kept rationalizing my behavior. This distancing, I felt would lend an easier way of dealing with her departure. Lack of involvement, I thought would make my life peaceful. Then after about a year she passed away at 85 years of age. I waited for 40 nights but did not ever dream of her.

Did this behavior pave a way for me to better handle my emotions? Handle disaster?

That’s when Corona happened. Lockdown started. Friends and relatives’ messages and calls increased. People found more time to themselves, most of them onto their mobiles, connecting, downloading and receiving messages, pics and videos. Everything looked ok. People asked me as to how I was passing my time locked in. My standard reply was “It’s the same for me, no change in my schedule, I am busy as I was, just that I was walking at odd times”. I felt that loneliness had started creeping in too soon in peoples’ lives. Then came calls with the smell of slight panic “What will happen if…”

So what has lockdown done to me? If it has been able to make an appreciable change in my daily life, then I was leading a life mostly with external motivations. External motivations cannot be generally nullified but can be minimized, and this is the time to sit and introspect on issues like: How was my day without expressing my views? Without meeting people? Without the urge of exhibiting? How was my day with myself? Etc.

If you have been a responsible citizen then you need not be policed. You know what is right and what is wrong behavior within the expectations of the society you live in. You just change your actions as per the prevailing conditions. If the mind convinces you to change, then the body follows effortlessly. You must foresee what your opinion does to people and vice versa in these moments. Silence pays. With maturity this calm down within will happen if one can ignore the external interferences. We now have the time to gradually evaluate our beliefs and values, identify our templates and remove them if possible. We can now try to change the way we think, act or choose not to act. 

We meet a large number of people daily, some regularly, and mostly live with a few permanently. Very few live alone physically I presume. There are moments / issues that are bound to interact or interfere. By now we should have discerned the effect of each meet. We now can predict the result of interactions that leaves one contented, stressful or thoughtless? Discern and decide, we have the time at your disposal now. If we all must go all “alone” on the final day, then there will be fewer and fewer people in our worlds as that day approaches. So, find that peaceful company ( thoughts, friends, books, …) that gives you quietude.

Taking a stock of things, have we never estimated/planned a healthy longevity say for 10 to 15 years more? Can we not plan these decades where we can enjoy with practically no responsibilities? With only good thoughts, exercises, good friends or a good partner? All these we know are a result of our investments so far.  We can choose our partner now who could also be our elated thoughts, books or any hobbies…necessarily not a human….

This is the best time when we can work on our internal self. Reduce extrinsic influences to a maximum. Gauge our preparedness so far; see where we need to work upon, find the gaps. Make a log of all those things that we miss and why? How much does of it weigh you down? How well do you know yourself, your desires, wants and needs? It is time to think, contemplate and meditate. As an individual no one can make you feel better than you yourself. Hence I say that this lockdown is only a mock drill preparing you for a bigger calamity. And if all is well after this, it will make us a calmer person, readying to handle adversaries.